Seasons Greetings!

Seasons Greetings!

As I write this, it is Thanksgiving, and I spent the morning meditating on everything I am grateful for. I am eternally grateful to all of you — my family, friends and supporters who have been such a blessing to me. You have helped transform this experience from a tragic nightmare into a rough but fruitful journey.

Along the way I have learned to be grateful for difficult people. This was the object of my meditation this morning. I had thought maybe when I moved here I would've left the difficult people behind in Carswell, but, turns out, there are difficult people everywhere (though there may be a somewhat higher concentration in prison). 

It's easy to be kind to those who are kind to us. It's much more of a challenge to keep an open heart to those who seem to mean us harm.

With the guidance of a Buddhist volunteer who comes to teach in the prison, I've been practicing tonglen, a method of generating compassion for others. Having real conflict in my life makes this practice immediate and authentic. It still feels bad at the time, but I'm getting better at handling it. I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have without all those difficult people along the way.

I've found another, unexpected, source for comfort as well. One of the university classes I'm taking is Literature of the Bible. It's an English class, not Theology, but I'm reading the Bible for the first time and learning how to decipher the author's intention. I've been going to church regularly, too, partly to aid in my understanding and partly because I appreciate the fellowship of others whose lives have been touched by spiritual truth. I also just enjoy the services — full of joyous dancing and singing. I know many of you have a poor impression of the Christian church, as did I, and for good reason. But I am beginning to understand that, though some Christians may say otherwise, the message of Jesus is love.

So this Christmas, I invite you to celebrate the birth of Christ, a teacher of compassion. May we all be blessed with guidance, in whatever form it takes. May we all become more humble, more caring, more kind.

Chelsea

Moved to Tallahassee

Chelsea was moved to FCI Tallahassee. Please see the sidebar for her new address.

Back to school

Dear friends and family,

I am very happy to report that after having a pacemaker/defribulator implanted in December, my mother is in much better health. She is coming to visit in April for my birthday, and I can't wait to see her.
I've been very busy with school and haven't had much time for correspondance (my apologies for being a bad pen-pal; I do still very much appreciate letters). I finished two anthropology courses and started two others: Intro to Psychology and Human Physiology. The physiology class is really tough, even more so because of the contraints of taking it from here. There are no lectures to bring the material into focus and explain complex processes. I can't get timely responses to questions and don't have access to other information sources. Good grades have always come fairly easily to me, but I'm struggling with this one. After burying myself in the textbook for the past month, I finally feel like I'm ready to take the mid-term. We'll see how I do.
In both classes, I'm learning interesting things about the science of the brain/mind. The unique physiology of our brains and our accumulated mental habits define our experience of the world. This is a key concept in Buddhism -- reality is not as solid, objective and unchanging as it appears. Because our perceptions are not always accurate, especially when judging the actions or motivations of others, it is always best to procede with openness and compassion.
I am in the process of applying to the University of Ohio's College Program for the Incarcerated, the only degree-granting institution available to prisoners. I have been able to take some classes from an agricultural/mechanical college at a lower cost. Together with the credits from before my arrest, I am more than halfway to earning a Bachelor Degree. Most of my remaining classes will have to be from the university and, unfortunately, the tuition is significantly more expensive.
Contrary to all common sense about rehabilitation, inmates are not eligible for financial aid, following an act of Congress in 1994. As a convicted terrorist, I'm not exactly an ideal scholarship candidate either. As for other sources, for the past year, my mom has been unable to work due to her health and my dad has been laid off periodically because of recession-induced plant closures.
So, I am asking for help to cover the cost of tuition. I know many of you are in the midst of your own financial difficulties and I do not want to add to anyone's hardship. Working for 26-cents an hour at my prison job has given me a new perspective on money. Contributions of any amount would be very much appreciated. Please send donations to my mother, who will be paying the tuition bills:
Deborah Kearns
PO Box 50307
Eugene, OR 97405
Thank you for all your love and support,

Chelsea